quit your bitching

This morning I had a realization that I just need to quit pouting over having my "hand slapped" at work and just get on with life. I realized that I was just being sad, loosing sleep, and making Greg miserable (because he is sad to see me upset) for nothing. I thought about T, the company owner, having totally reamed C, my manager, over a project last month. I wonder if she was crying and carrying on over the indignity of being questioned. Whether legitimate cricticism or not (I personally think he went overboard on her), I didn't see her being overly upset about it. I need to be an adult here--I mean, who cares if these bozo folks I work with like me or not--the reality is, the thing I was most upset about is that these people "turned" on me, didn't like me enough to be nice in their review. Why should I loose sleep over that.

Yes, it is hard to not have "friends" at work, but it is survivable. Greg was totally cracking me up because he just got irritated at my being upset about the co-workers and said, "honey, I was never impressed by any of them anyway, why do you care if a bunch of loosers like you?"

I was so inspired today by reading the website of one of my online friends. She's an American that moved to Australia and she's always been really nice to me. We connect about Buddhism and mom-hood and our love of tarantulas. She's started a business selling propagated tropical plants. She was giving me encouragement about our decision to travel and telling me a bit about her travels. It made me remember how just days ago, I felt the whole world had expanded--that anything was possible and I was on the brink of adventure. People DO this--they go places, change their lives for the better and have adventures. Six months from now, work at this particular company will be a distant memory...hopefully :)

Phoebe

Last night was classic parent sleeplessness with baby. Phoebe has had a cold for awhile now (she just went to the doctor and we were told "she has a cold" duh..) and has had odd sleep patterns for weeks. I was at my wits end just a week ago, desperate for more sleep and Greg has been waking up and taking her at about 3AM, letting her sleep on his tummy. Last night I woke at 2AM and couldn't quit my mind mulling, so went downstairs to read. Until you have a baby, you don't realize how precious time to read can be. I read my new book, A Cave in the Snow, for an hour, then heard Phoebe stiring. I thought it was going to just be a little nurse-her-back to sleep action, but no, she nursing, she woke, she wiggled she sat up she giggled.

Greg tried taking her, she wiggled. I took her until 4:30 then woke Greg, asking him to take her for a bit so I could sleep. this morning was awful. Greg is sick, Phoebe is sick, I'm coming down with a cold and Greg just looked miserable. I hated to leave for work.

Last night, Phoebe stood by herself again. Its so adorable to see her balanced there. Walking is so close!

  ¶ 1:03 PM