the most basic Me
Wednesday, November 14, 2001
I am posting a part of an exercise I'm doing--a daily tarot card. I first write what I see in the picture on the card, then I examine the traditional interpretation, and then my thoughts about what this card means to me today.
Daily card: Ten of Cups
my interp.: lovers in love, bountiful emotion, happiness rekindled, conversation, setting forward on a journey leaving the past behind, filling life with beauty.
Traditional interp: joy, peace, family: feeling joy, radiating love; doing away with hostilities, reducing stress and tension; looking to family, working for peace in the home, bonding with family members
This card comes to me after a morning filled with anything but peace. Last night was hectic and grumpy, this morning worse. G and I hardly talked, he's still ill. I did my Pilates and did some writing but it was not peaceful. I was filled with a lot of pent up energy and anger. I knew it, but felt somewhat powerless as to where to channel it.
A lot of outside forces were working together to feed my discomfort and anger, but the inner workings were more troubling. I would feel a brief sense of calm and then lash out at things. For example, Udo (my dog) kept getting under my feet and the puppy was a peeing machine. I kept getting irritated and yelling at Udo. During pilates, I tried to let the anger wash over me and examine it. Accept it. I found that I did not know what to do WITH it. Anger in and of itself is fine, but letting it ferment or lashing out at Udo (or G) is unacceptable to me. How to return to another place, move on?
So this card is a good one. A reminder of peace and love and family. Perhaps if I think about these things today, some of this anger will drain and I can return to something more neutral or happy. ¶ 10:03 AM 0 comments
Daily card: Ten of Cups
my interp.: lovers in love, bountiful emotion, happiness rekindled, conversation, setting forward on a journey leaving the past behind, filling life with beauty.
Traditional interp: joy, peace, family: feeling joy, radiating love; doing away with hostilities, reducing stress and tension; looking to family, working for peace in the home, bonding with family members
This card comes to me after a morning filled with anything but peace. Last night was hectic and grumpy, this morning worse. G and I hardly talked, he's still ill. I did my Pilates and did some writing but it was not peaceful. I was filled with a lot of pent up energy and anger. I knew it, but felt somewhat powerless as to where to channel it.
A lot of outside forces were working together to feed my discomfort and anger, but the inner workings were more troubling. I would feel a brief sense of calm and then lash out at things. For example, Udo (my dog) kept getting under my feet and the puppy was a peeing machine. I kept getting irritated and yelling at Udo. During pilates, I tried to let the anger wash over me and examine it. Accept it. I found that I did not know what to do WITH it. Anger in and of itself is fine, but letting it ferment or lashing out at Udo (or G) is unacceptable to me. How to return to another place, move on?
So this card is a good one. A reminder of peace and love and family. Perhaps if I think about these things today, some of this anger will drain and I can return to something more neutral or happy. ¶ 10:03 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, November 13, 2001
Listening to the news this morning, I felt angry. They are lynching people in Kabul--any Taliban supporters are being rounded up and lynched (not by the Northern Alliance, the Afghan people). I was not angry at the people of Afghanistan. I felt anger about my own whining and complaining because my precious sense of peace and safety has been rocked. I am so lucky to be in America. Our country truly is a wonderful place. War for us still means news clips and radio stories of blood and bombing in a far away place. When a new party takes over the White House, it does not mean lynchings in the street. I think of the anger and pain that would cause enough feeling to want to torture and lynch people in the streets--it would be horrible to live in a place like that.
Part of my aggravation was this morning at home--it was hectic. I've had a lot more peace in my mornings lately. I've been rising early and getting to drink my tea, do Pilates/Yoga, work on my novel. But this morning!..I do not know how people with children survive the day. One new puppy and a sick husband is enough to drive me to work to rest. G is ill and I was taking care of his new puppy. I needed to go to work early and by the time I'd fixed tea for G, cleaned up puppy poop from behind the t.v., fed the puppy, did a short training session (charging the clicker)...etc. and so forth. It does no good to list grievances.
I have been learning about Tarot. It is not at all what I thought it was about. I always thought that people that consulted the Tarot believed that the Tarot was telling them the future (a silly idea to me), whereas the reality is that Tarot can be much more about looking inward and consulting your own inner guide. Almost a form of meditation. I like the course I'm following about it (Learning the Tarot by Joan Bunning www.learntarot.com).
A good example--in her lesson regarding forming a question to ask, she cautions you to not try shifting the responsibility away from you (asking the cards for an answer), but ask questions that look inward for more information. Instead of "Should I put my father in a nursing home, or take care of him in my house?"--a Yes/No question, try, "What do I need to know to decide on the best living arrangements for my father?" I feel like it may be a good tool for me to help focus.
¶ 7:56 AM 0 comments
Part of my aggravation was this morning at home--it was hectic. I've had a lot more peace in my mornings lately. I've been rising early and getting to drink my tea, do Pilates/Yoga, work on my novel. But this morning!..I do not know how people with children survive the day. One new puppy and a sick husband is enough to drive me to work to rest. G is ill and I was taking care of his new puppy. I needed to go to work early and by the time I'd fixed tea for G, cleaned up puppy poop from behind the t.v., fed the puppy, did a short training session (charging the clicker)...etc. and so forth. It does no good to list grievances.
I have been learning about Tarot. It is not at all what I thought it was about. I always thought that people that consulted the Tarot believed that the Tarot was telling them the future (a silly idea to me), whereas the reality is that Tarot can be much more about looking inward and consulting your own inner guide. Almost a form of meditation. I like the course I'm following about it (Learning the Tarot by Joan Bunning www.learntarot.com).
A good example--in her lesson regarding forming a question to ask, she cautions you to not try shifting the responsibility away from you (asking the cards for an answer), but ask questions that look inward for more information. Instead of "Should I put my father in a nursing home, or take care of him in my house?"--a Yes/No question, try, "What do I need to know to decide on the best living arrangements for my father?" I feel like it may be a good tool for me to help focus.
¶ 7:56 AM 0 comments
