I'm getting pretty wiped out mentally this week. I don't know if I've ever packed so much new information into my brain in such a short period of time. I'm trying to learn a huge new chunk of information. Luckily, it all seems vaguely familiar, since I've been in the industry so long I've been periferally exposed to the info. But its a lot of new information.

In the back of my mind, I keep worrying at the "law school problem". I guess I should just let it lie, not worry about it yet. I was all ready to pack up and move to another state for school, but now I keep thinking how nice it would be to just stay here and do school part time. We'll see.
  ¶ 6:39 AM 0 comments

  Sometimes life's little challenges work out for the best. I'm at my new job now and I like it so much better than the old one. It is a much smaller company and I'm in a more advanced position. Very nice.

I found out even more about the messed up situation that ended up making me leave my old job. A client of mine that was involved with the projects while I was on maternity leave called to let me know that he would like to continue working with me, but not my old company. Aparently, he and the other clients were not upset with me, but were extremely annoyed by how poorly their projects were managed by another staff member. That really ticks me off, because the client had told the owner of the company that, yet they still choose to give me a pay cut and just slapped the wrist of the other employee. It is one of those situations that make me wish I could do something about it that would let them know just how stupid they were and are.

I still think the bottom line is that it isn't a law suit worthy situation, but boy does part of me wish it were.  ¶ 1:05 PM 0 comments

 

early riser, Phoebe's mom

If you had asked me a year ago if I would ever be up reguarly at 5:30AM on Sunday mornings, I would have just laughed in your face. The fact that I am up at 5:30AM on a Sunday seems normal now as I 've been doing it regularly for about 4 months, 3 weeks. Hey--that's how old Phoebe is...

I was picking a new yahoo address the other day and came very close to typing in "Phoebesmom". When I realized what I was doing, it stopped me in my tracks. I love being a mom and it IS who I am, but at the same time, the idea of begining to identify myself as only that makes me shudder. How awful for Phoebe. To put all that pressure on a child that they are so central to their mother's life that she identifies herself as Phoebe's mom. On the other hand, being a mom is now the most important thing in my life. Looking at her last night, I realized that nothing, not my husband, not a job, my dad, my house, myself...nothing is more important than her.

Speaking of which...I hear cries from upstairs..

+++++++

Phoebe is breastfed. Around three months, she started this adorable thing where she, well, makes yummy noises as she eats. I never imagined how much babies would show their enjoyment in the process of eating. After I put her to breast, she just tucks in with little grunts and squeaks of enjoyment. She gets her entire body into the process, playing with my shirt (or hair, or other boob) with her hands, kicking me with her feet, wiggling. Her eyes open and close, often rolling in her head a bit when she's really tucking in. She anticipates the whole eating process, making a particular Mmmmm sound when hungry, then getting very excited when she's offered the breast. Now she opens her mouth and lunges at the breast, often accompanying the motion with "knocking" on my breast with her hand, as if to say, "open up the restaurant mom."

With that kind of reinforcement, why would I wean from the breast at 4 months!  ¶ 7:15 AM 0 comments