the most basic Me
Saturday, August 09, 2003
Yesterday was insane. 3 interviews in one day. 2 hours each! I got up at 4am and got home eventually at 8:30PM.
The end of the day was great though--I had dinner with some girlfriends and G, my husband, and lil Mojo. It was so amazing to just sit and chat with friends. It had been far too long. We had a couple glasses of chardonney each ($39.50 for the 6 glasses, should have gotten a bottle --whew!) along with some yummy asian cuisine--calamari with horseradish breading, chicken stuffed pot-stickers, orange-chicken, california rolls...after no eating out for the last 3 months, I was in heaven.
G laughed after we got home, commenting that men never talk to one another like that. When asked about her new boyfriend, C said, "oh, we fight all the time, but we've been together 9 months so something must be working." That launched us into a discussion of whether the fighting was "always about the same thing" or just the "same dynamic". And whether or not she felt that she was reserved from relationships out here because her family is on the east coast. Later, we gave advice to her about buying a house, which amounted to "its your decision, but here's all the things you should consider." [can you imagine, 26 years old on a 45-50k salary buying a 219K house--scary! G and I paid 182K for our house on two salaries and we are strapped going back to one salary] We talked about how sad we were that K is leaving for San Diego an how we all wished we had made more of an effort to see one another frequently. Spending time with girlfriends is so important. We are all moving up and on in careers, funny how fast life goes by.
G said, "I don't even know what arguments having the same 'dynamic' means," and I laughed saying I didn't know either :0
I think that I'll take the position at RPM. I get the best feeling from them. They are family friendly, flexible schedule--and best of all, it ties in perfectly with my future law career and I may be able to go to law school locally and still work for them! I have to admit I'm such a glutton for people courting me with good food. RPM was the only company that took me to lunch, both interviews. They acted the fastest, are willing to meet my salary requirements without batting an eye, and the work is fun and interesting--and I'll have my own office again finally!! It seems so petty of me to bitch about such things, but having gone from Z and Z with total independance, my own huge office, and much respect to Foothill, with shared office space and fighting for respect...it will be so nice to just relax again and have the showy perks. LOL. Of course, the office isn't that nice--a bit cramped and in a not so nice part of town and the commute is going to kill me, but we'll see how it goes. I can't wait to give notice!!
G promises he'll bring Mojo (Phoebe) to me frequently so that it isn't as hard to be away from her all day. I feel sometimes as if I'm slipping into a no-return of letting a huge part of her parenting over to G. That is not a bad thing in a way--he is her father after all. But it scares me in a way that it is so easy for me to hand her to G so that I can get something done. I had a dream last night that I was on an airplane and they had taken Phoebe from me. I knew she was hungry and they wouldn't bring her to me. I woke G up, crying in my sleep. ¶ 8:07 AM 0 comments
The end of the day was great though--I had dinner with some girlfriends and G, my husband, and lil Mojo. It was so amazing to just sit and chat with friends. It had been far too long. We had a couple glasses of chardonney each ($39.50 for the 6 glasses, should have gotten a bottle --whew!) along with some yummy asian cuisine--calamari with horseradish breading, chicken stuffed pot-stickers, orange-chicken, california rolls...after no eating out for the last 3 months, I was in heaven.
G laughed after we got home, commenting that men never talk to one another like that. When asked about her new boyfriend, C said, "oh, we fight all the time, but we've been together 9 months so something must be working." That launched us into a discussion of whether the fighting was "always about the same thing" or just the "same dynamic". And whether or not she felt that she was reserved from relationships out here because her family is on the east coast. Later, we gave advice to her about buying a house, which amounted to "its your decision, but here's all the things you should consider." [can you imagine, 26 years old on a 45-50k salary buying a 219K house--scary! G and I paid 182K for our house on two salaries and we are strapped going back to one salary] We talked about how sad we were that K is leaving for San Diego an how we all wished we had made more of an effort to see one another frequently. Spending time with girlfriends is so important. We are all moving up and on in careers, funny how fast life goes by.
G said, "I don't even know what arguments having the same 'dynamic' means," and I laughed saying I didn't know either :0
I think that I'll take the position at RPM. I get the best feeling from them. They are family friendly, flexible schedule--and best of all, it ties in perfectly with my future law career and I may be able to go to law school locally and still work for them! I have to admit I'm such a glutton for people courting me with good food. RPM was the only company that took me to lunch, both interviews. They acted the fastest, are willing to meet my salary requirements without batting an eye, and the work is fun and interesting--and I'll have my own office again finally!! It seems so petty of me to bitch about such things, but having gone from Z and Z with total independance, my own huge office, and much respect to Foothill, with shared office space and fighting for respect...it will be so nice to just relax again and have the showy perks. LOL. Of course, the office isn't that nice--a bit cramped and in a not so nice part of town and the commute is going to kill me, but we'll see how it goes. I can't wait to give notice!!
G promises he'll bring Mojo (Phoebe) to me frequently so that it isn't as hard to be away from her all day. I feel sometimes as if I'm slipping into a no-return of letting a huge part of her parenting over to G. That is not a bad thing in a way--he is her father after all. But it scares me in a way that it is so easy for me to hand her to G so that I can get something done. I had a dream last night that I was on an airplane and they had taken Phoebe from me. I knew she was hungry and they wouldn't bring her to me. I woke G up, crying in my sleep. ¶ 8:07 AM 0 comments
Friday, August 08, 2003
A long time ago--I must have been 13 or so--I made a decision to always seek to grow and move forward. To never quail from progress due to fear, to always seek to improve. This decision has shaped everything in my life--from the way I dealt with my mother's death, my choice of jobs, and my choice of husband.
I am feeling a bit lost right now because I feel so spiritually disconnected. I have a longing for the outdoors and feel completely disconnected from nature. I have no idea what to even label my spirituality/path. I decided to again look at buddhism, to try and implement some of its elements in my life. I borrowed a book from a co-worker, Ellen, who I guessed was buddhist-or at least dabbled :) I'm reading a book from her, The Wisdom of No Escape by Pema Chodron.
In her first lecture, she mentions that "when people start ot meditate or to work with any kind of spiritual discipline, they often think that somehow they're going to improve, which is a sort of subtle aggression against who they really are." I have a hard time intellectually understanding some elements of her point. I have always tried to seek improvement from a place of acceptance of who I am now--change can take as long or as slow as it wants. Is this what she means? Or is somehow the whole idea of improvement 'wrong'. I don't suppose it matters. I can just work it out for myself--perhaps clarity will come eventually.
I like one of her first paragraphs, " To lead a life that goes beyond pettiness and prejudice and always wanting to make sure that everything turns out on our own terms, to lead a more passionate, full, and delightful life than that, we must realize that we can endure a lot of pain and pleasure for the sake of finding out who we are and what this world is, how we tick and how our world ticks, how the whole thing just is."
++++++
As to law school, it looks as if I am going to have to put the LSAT study on hold. I am looking for a new job. My current employers gave me a nice notice that they were demoting me and reducing my pay. Impossible for me to deal with right now given my financial situation. I can't believe that they wouldn't think this would result in me finding a new job. It is particularly galling in that B, my supervisior, made the error of mentioning that he "knows it is hard as a new mom to balance everything, I mean, I'm a new dad and all, but I have Emily at home and I'm willing to give up my personal life." Whereas I'm not. They are lucky that I don't sue them, giving me this on the tail of my return from maternity leave and making a comment like that to me!
One of the job possibilities that I'm pursueing will dovetail into law school and future job prospects perfectly. It is a more CEQA (California Environmental Quality Act) oriented job, rather than pure Bio/Regulatory. If I end up pursuing environmental law, it will be extremely valuable to have a deeper background in CEQA law.
It is so true that if you keep your eyes open, seemingly bad things that happen can turn out to be good things.
¶ 5:00 AM 0 comments
I am feeling a bit lost right now because I feel so spiritually disconnected. I have a longing for the outdoors and feel completely disconnected from nature. I have no idea what to even label my spirituality/path. I decided to again look at buddhism, to try and implement some of its elements in my life. I borrowed a book from a co-worker, Ellen, who I guessed was buddhist-or at least dabbled :) I'm reading a book from her, The Wisdom of No Escape by Pema Chodron.
In her first lecture, she mentions that "when people start ot meditate or to work with any kind of spiritual discipline, they often think that somehow they're going to improve, which is a sort of subtle aggression against who they really are." I have a hard time intellectually understanding some elements of her point. I have always tried to seek improvement from a place of acceptance of who I am now--change can take as long or as slow as it wants. Is this what she means? Or is somehow the whole idea of improvement 'wrong'. I don't suppose it matters. I can just work it out for myself--perhaps clarity will come eventually.
I like one of her first paragraphs, " To lead a life that goes beyond pettiness and prejudice and always wanting to make sure that everything turns out on our own terms, to lead a more passionate, full, and delightful life than that, we must realize that we can endure a lot of pain and pleasure for the sake of finding out who we are and what this world is, how we tick and how our world ticks, how the whole thing just is."
++++++
As to law school, it looks as if I am going to have to put the LSAT study on hold. I am looking for a new job. My current employers gave me a nice notice that they were demoting me and reducing my pay. Impossible for me to deal with right now given my financial situation. I can't believe that they wouldn't think this would result in me finding a new job. It is particularly galling in that B, my supervisior, made the error of mentioning that he "knows it is hard as a new mom to balance everything, I mean, I'm a new dad and all, but I have Emily at home and I'm willing to give up my personal life." Whereas I'm not. They are lucky that I don't sue them, giving me this on the tail of my return from maternity leave and making a comment like that to me!
One of the job possibilities that I'm pursueing will dovetail into law school and future job prospects perfectly. It is a more CEQA (California Environmental Quality Act) oriented job, rather than pure Bio/Regulatory. If I end up pursuing environmental law, it will be extremely valuable to have a deeper background in CEQA law.
It is so true that if you keep your eyes open, seemingly bad things that happen can turn out to be good things.
¶ 5:00 AM 0 comments
Monday, August 04, 2003
This Wyrd Place is going to transform itself into a pre-law blog because I am now pre-law. There have been lots of changes in my life since my last posts. Re-reading, I have to laugh at my comment, "i don't know how people with children do it." Because I am now a people with child. My lil Mojo Max is 4 months 1 week old and growing like a pilsbury doughgirl. Never imagined I'd have such a plump baby.
anyway, I've decided finally to go to law school and I might as well share the trials and tribulations of being a mom going back to school. My plan is long-term--fall 2005 is the plan. I was a bit shocked when I started looking into school and realized how long ahead you need to plan your apps. The normal deadline for apps to the school for fall (you can't start law school in Spring) is Feb. With taking the LSAT, getting letters of rec, filling out apps, financial aid, blah blah blah, its a lot. And we may move to Indiana (can you believe that one.) Never thought I'd convince G to do that.
Re-reading my old blogs I was almost scared. I'm amazed at the quality of the writing--not that its stellar--just that I know that I wrote those so quickly. And it reminds me how much I used to write. Is that much creativity still inside me?
¶ 7:18 AM 0 comments
anyway, I've decided finally to go to law school and I might as well share the trials and tribulations of being a mom going back to school. My plan is long-term--fall 2005 is the plan. I was a bit shocked when I started looking into school and realized how long ahead you need to plan your apps. The normal deadline for apps to the school for fall (you can't start law school in Spring) is Feb. With taking the LSAT, getting letters of rec, filling out apps, financial aid, blah blah blah, its a lot. And we may move to Indiana (can you believe that one.) Never thought I'd convince G to do that.
Re-reading my old blogs I was almost scared. I'm amazed at the quality of the writing--not that its stellar--just that I know that I wrote those so quickly. And it reminds me how much I used to write. Is that much creativity still inside me?
¶ 7:18 AM 0 comments
